Thursday, July 2, 2009

Fantasy vs Reality

I am good at fantasizing.  Believe me.  Growing up I would imagine my life when I was older.  At 12 I dreamt of being 16 (driving, dating, partying).  At 16 I yearned for 21 (legality, college, "independence").  At 21 I attempted to envision 25 (hazy, but financially stable, employed, social).  But despite my talent at ignoring reality to pursue fantasy, reality always wins.

Yet notwithstanding an overall failure of fantasy, there are still ways to make believe your life is that of your dreams, even if it's far from it.

Fantasy (Reality)

- I am hipster, hear me roar.  Music is my life, hence why I write concert reviews.  My writing influences what concerts people choose to see (I love music and I love writing, hence my non-paying gig...and I'm pretty sure my viewership is limited to the website organizers...and my mom).

- I work in finance, my bonus is fabulous, and, quite frankly, it's all worth it when I see that glorious paycheck (As my company continues to make cuts, I pray for me job daily.  Bonus?  Well, that term is foreign.  I think that might mean something about extra cash but I just can't quite remember...)

- I am dating a tall, blond, blue-eyed, gorgeous investment banker (Ah commitment - can you hear my the echoing of my footsteps as I flee?)

I learned this lesson in college but since forgot and had to relearn it directly after graduating.  Life is what you make it.  It's simple, it's to the point, it's true.  Life is shitty, no one is denying it, however life is much less shittier if the glass is half full rather than half empty.  So I may not get a bonus?  At least I have a job when the economy is tanking.  So I am not in a committed relationship?  Makes it easier for when I choose to move back to the west coast.  So I don't know if people are reading my reviews?  I don't know that they're not!  

When it comes to life, it's certainly a lot easier if you embrace it than fight it.

   

Independence

You think you have it in college but unless you are funding your own education, this is merely a lie you tell yourself in a vain attempt at asserting your maturity.  

Independence, when finally achieved, tends to rush over you in waves; first the heated excitement at the realization that your life is solely your own and then the cold desperation at the unsettling inability to afford your life that is solely your own.  Money may not be able to buy happiness but it certainly can buy comfort.  What does one do without it?